I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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