A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
