my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
