yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Come share oat with me in your robe
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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