I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
