Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
