we have officially lost it.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
