Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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