on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
