OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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