There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
