I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
