This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Small penises have feelings too.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
