I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
