i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
