There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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