I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize