PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
