it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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