They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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