Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
