Fuck appropriateness.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
