Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The best revenge is premature balding
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
