A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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