but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
