and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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