No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I woke up under a house in Key West
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