When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
