I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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