he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
