and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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