If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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