this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
