just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
