party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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