Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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