I'm eating all of the evidence.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
