I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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