Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
