My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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