Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
