A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
