I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
