well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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