We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
