I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
