theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
