ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
