There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
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I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
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I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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