If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
