Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
