I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
