i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
