I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
tell me about the fingering
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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