So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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