Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
