why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
